About Me

  • Name: Denise Tan
  • DOB: 13th July 1987
  • NTU Sociology student


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    StaR in An auTuMn's niTe...

    sHimMeriNg of sTars in tHe niTe skY...bRinG my hAnd fOrwArD..tRyinG tO rEacH thEm...n wOndEriNg...wiLL i bE abLe to hOLd tHeM iN mY hAnD...?

    Wednesday, February 28, 2007

    Friends for life?

    This morning as i woke up, i overheard my ma talking to my pa about her secondary classmates. I was like wow! It has already been how many years...? hm, let's see. 48-16= 32 yrs.
    oh gosh...it's a freaking 32 yrs! They have been in and out of contact for so many years and i wonder, will my friends and i still be keeping in touch when we were 60? hahaz. i hope so. The people we really called friends are not some only know you through "hi and bye". Those are acquaintances to be specific.
    Friends are already not easy to find, not to mention about true friends. They are harder to come by or you may not even get to find one in a life time.
    My fellow friends i know are people who i'm able to trust because i know they don't have any ulterior motives to harm me.

    Personally, i think that the chance of meeting good friends from school is greater than in a workforce. Every now and then, i will hear my ma and relatives telling me, '' when you are working next time, you better be open your eyes BIG BIG and be highly vigilant of your surroundings or else you'll never know who may be 'stabbing' you from behind and claim all your credits!" hmm... i make the world of reality sound so cold and harsh. haha... Anyway, i acquiesce their views. To survive in the outside world is tough, it's a place full of competition and massive ambitions. Many people are trying all means to get to the top by using undermining methods to get rid of their opponents. In order to protect myself from being sabotage or whatever, i will probably fence up myself and soon i may turn into a parnoid. hahaz...How can i possibly get to know people in such situation.

    Throughout a lifetime, many people walk in and out of your social circles. Some leave you with footprints while some don't. How are we suppose to remain close in touch with those (people who leave you with footprints). Without intiation, determination and the heart to mantain contact, you will probably lose them after some time. Imagine when you (eg. age 36) were out on the streets one day and you saw your former secondary mate. Both of you used to be very good friends during school but had since lost touch for 20 years. You had the urge to say a hi, but was held back by uncertainties. Thinking that what if she don't remember me and thinks i'm a psychotic?" LOL... That would be really MULU! Plus if she were to remember me, would we have topics to start a conversation? After all, many things can happened within this long period of time and people do change. The things you think are common topics for the both of you in the past may no longer be now. What if because of your ignorance, you say things that offend her. Such as..."Hey! long time no see! You must be married with kids." If the friend (still single) you were talking to someone who was a sensitive person in nature, she would probably be fuming and swear to herself not to see you again, forever. wow...i think i've given too many illustrations... hahaz.

    My ma also mentioned about some of her classmates wanted to organise a class outing. It's so cool right? it's like after so many years... she told me her classmates have great careers and have achieved alot thoughtout the year while she's just a home-maker (housewife to be exact but ma don't like this title so i use home-maker instead) now. But this is definitely NOT true. She's the best ma i can ever have and i'm extremely proud of her! Despite graduating from a Chinese school with a O levels Cert, she worked as an administrator at a law firm and slowly promoted to assistant secretary. Throughout the years working there, she learn how to speak and write better English. Could you imagine how tough it was for her to adapt since was from a Chinese school and Chinese speaking family? Not only that, she also worked as an insurance agent before. Cool huh. Though she no longer work as an insurance agent, many people still go to her for opinions before deciding which policies to buy. I would say she's knowlegeble in this area. The reason of her to be a home-marker is to look after my sis.
    My sis is already in Sec 3 now and my ma is an avid PSG (Parent Student Group) committee member in my sis's school. She helps organising school events and doing coordinating stuffs. See what i mean? She's capable! oh ya! Did i mention that she bake delicious cakes and pineapple tarts! MuacKZ! i love her! =)

    Tuesday, February 27, 2007

    Mood contrast

    My mood today was directly in contrast to yesterday. Maybe because it's a Tuesday? (so no Monday blues?) hahaz... Well, i was feeling much more light-hearted. I supposed the weather and the surroundings got most of the credit.

    As usual, i walked to Woodlands Library. The sky was clear, the air was cool. Unlike the past mornings which were scorching hot!

    Remember my yesterday's entry? I had mentioned something about "drowning inside my own world" and " the outside world is none of my concern". But don't know why, today was totally different. I was unknowingly giving my attention to my surroundings. Seems like my 5 senses appeared to be more sensitive than usual.

    I heard the chirping of birds, the mixture of noises from a primary school (voices of teachers/students and the dragging of tables/chairs) as they were getting ready for lesson and the ongoing traffic.

    I felt the morning breeze blowing against my skin and hair. I love to feel the wind in my hair, it gives a tingling sensation to my scalp and it really felt great. =)

    I saw smiley pre-school kids lining up outside their classrooms, with water bottles hanging around their neck. They had this excited expression shown on their innocent faces. Who knows maybe their teacher was bringing them to d nearby playground to have some fun? On the way, I also saw mothers bringing their babies/toddlers (few months old to around 4 yrs old) for a walk. They were so cute can! Especially, the way they walk. Since they were still quite unstable, they normally would spread out both arms in clenched fists, focusing very hard to balance themselves. (Similar to d way a penguin walking on ice) So cute! LoL...
    Another thing that can make me melt to my knees is when these 'cute little creatures' flash their 'killer' smiles at me! I will have the temptation to carry them, pinch their chubby cheeks and then kiss them on their forehead! Alright, I shall stop elaborating any further. In case whoever read this entry will think that i'm a paedophile. hahaz.. Well, i'm NOT! LOL.. Normally, I will make all kinds of funny faces just to put a smile on their faces, even when i'm on the train or bus. I bet those who had saw me doing that would think " that girl over there siao 1 isit? keep making these retarted expressions to herself!" AHAHA. But i really canot help it. They are too cute to resist. They may seem angelic at this stage but they will gradually transform into a 'devil' as they grow older. I think you guys know wat i mean. Meaning they can get really mischievious n nasty. Running here and there, screaming every now and then n bla bla bla... kk, enough about kids.

    For today, every little detail had brought a smile to my face. Be it a ground of fallen leaves, a flower or just to know the people i love are healthy and happy, can really do wonders.
    Many times, we are too preoccupied with our personal problems that we often neglect the beautiful things and the people around us. We tend to take them for granted. To be honest, the feeling of being unappreciated is not very nice. A simple 'thank you' can already brighten one's day. I don't understand why there are still people who can't even practice this simple gesture? Of course, the 2 syllabus words can be meaningless when sincerity is not present. It's always the sincerity and effort that counts. Am i not wrong?

    Hey people, Be happy and cheerful always k! Love ya all! =)

    Monday, February 26, 2007

    Waiting for the right one

    With reference to Steph's Entry: Waiting for d right girl/woman.

    After reading Steph's blog, many thoughts came gushing out. Therefore, i shall pen down my thoughts and opinions here.
    Yes, i agree that waiting can be a very tiring, draining n torturous process. (That is why i don't like to be late n let others wait.) hahaz... ok, that's not my point.

    Regardless of waiting for 'the one' who has not appeared or waiting for someone that may never be yours, can be very tough indeed. The feeling of waiting is always full of uncertainties which tend to make ppl's mind wondering all over d place. Different kinds of question will be formulated out of nowhere, such as "will i ever get to see him/her again?" or "what if i don't have someone who is meant for me?" n d list goes on. Sometimes, this seems like endless waiting. Especially when you get to see d streets full of couples n having elder cousins who are all attached. You may feel that how nice will it be to have someone who you love n cherish to share your ups n downs with you n vice visa. Loneliness will no longer reappear in 'your' dictionary. How nice can that be. But of course, those mentioned above had already been romanticised.

    What we get see is usually on d surface but not in depth. No relationship exists only happiness, smiles n laughters. Everything on this earth has their 2 sides - positive/negative, pros/cons, safe/dangerous, yes/no etc. n tt includes relationship too. So we shouldn't rush into relationship just for d sake of compianionship.
    We need to be fully prepared n also having d necessary components in order to start n maintain a relationship. These components are - chemistry (not in d scientific sense), love, committment, faith, trust (in yourself n towards your partner) n not to forget - respect. Personally, i think if any one of these is missing, a relationship will not b solid enough to withstand challenges n setbacks. Perhapes, my previous relationships failed because i do not trust myself? hahaz...anyway, i shall not deal deep into that. If not you guys will be reading an essay. lol..

    [Try to get a girlfriend when you are in University. It's because with all the activities and events, there will be a lot of opportunities for you to get to know girls. If you miss getting one in Uni life, it won't exactly be easy when you go into the workforce. Why? Because the good ones would have been taken during their Uni days.] (coded from steph)
    I heard quite a number of ppl saying this too, which i also agree to a large extent. Why? It's because in a large school cohort, there bound to be more interactions. More interactions meaning more opportunities to know somemoe who is suitable for you. Generally, you will have a greater chance of getting into a serious relationship. In contrast, the ppl whom you get to know of n work with in the workforce, are most probably attached or married. BUT, a big BUT...(not butt arh...!) It all tie down to d same logic. What is yours will also be yours no matter how hard you try to run away from it or how long it takes to belong to you. The same goes for d opposite. What is not yours will never be yours regardless of hard you try to pursue or how long you wait. I'm not saying that my perspective is d ultimate explanation because in a relationships, there ought to have all sorts of 'weird combinations' of issues/problems. Therefore, one explanation canot cater to all. We need to zoom-in to specific issue in order to better understand.

    oh gosh...i think i have written an eassy... hahaz..

    To the temple...

    Right now, my hair still lingers d smell of smoke once again. This time round is not because of cigarettes, but it's d smoke of joss sticks. Yah, i went to bugis temple in d afternoon just now. I was all by myself since my mum is unavailable today. Usually, it's me who accompany my mum to d temple, so it's a little different today. Because i was d one initiated to go in d 1st place n was alone. However, i kind of like it. hahaz.. Must be i'm used to doing things alone at times, even this time round. Didn't know why i hav a sudden urge to pray to the deities. Maybe it's due to my 'messy n inorganised mind+heart' n was trying to find an outlet for relieve or perhapes, i just wan to pray for my family's well-being. Nah...i'm greedy. I did both. hahaz...
    Actually i intended to stay in d library for d whole day to do my assignment but...my laptop was impossible to connect to wireless. Also, i did not have d mood to read those articles. Really could not concentrate hence in d end i only managed to finish 1 reading. haa... That was when i decided to go bugis. Glad to say i'm feeling a little more calm n tranquil than before.

    While walking on d streets of bugis, i felt so insignificant among d crowd. Noises and voices filled d atmosphere around me, as if i was drowning...drowning into my own world where d 'outside' world was none of my concern. That was d time i felt free from all kinds of problems - no emotions, no feelings. Just blankness. Sort of smiliar to being a zombie or a living dead. haha.

    Well, i shall stop here before i get too descriptive n naggy... lol..

    Sunday, February 25, 2007

    Rude Kids & memories of OBS

    It was pouring heavily when i was on my way home from d library. As i opened my umbrella n was about to step out of d civic centre, i saw this little girl, ard the age of 8, rudely saying to her grandfather, "give me your cap! i wan to wear it to shelter myself from d rain n make sure u make sure my file do not get wet!" This was when i noe her grandfather was helping her to carry her tution file. After tt, d little girl ran ahead to seek for shelter, leaving d poor old man behind running with d file on his head... It's really sad to see such a scene. Why has the children/youngsters nowadays become so disrespectful to the elderly today? Of coz i'm not saying i'm super fillial, but at least i respect ppl. Imagine if my future kids/grandchildren treat me tt way? oh man...i almost shiver jus to think abt it.

    ok, let's digress to sth 180 degree opposite from d above issue. In POPULAR bookshop, i came across a lady. You might b thinking, "wat's so special about a lady?" I can tell you, she's 'special'. Coz d sole of her sandals came off while she was walking towards my direction! hahaz... n this reminded me of my OBS days in JC1. You noe why? It's becoz i encountered d same thing! LOL. But in a more awkward situation. I still remember that i was preparing to walk up d shore after the kayating practice when my whole feet got stuck inside d mud. In d process of getting my feet out, d sole of my sport shoes came off together with my feet. ahaha...i was like..''shit! i hav only bring 1 pair of sport shoes with me!'' somemore, i need to do treking d very next day. Very suay right...i noe. Out of no choice, i resort to using rubber band to tie d sole to d remaining part of the sport shoe n continue with d treking. heh heh..i noe i'm a 'genius'.... *puke chilli sauce*

    Saturday, February 24, 2007

    Van, agnes, qb, andy n i went to Partyworld to sing K yest! From 7pm to 12.15am d nxt day, but van left earlier for home. It's really an one time experience to sing at d main lounge coz there were no room available by d time we got there. Business had been really good yest. Though initially we were feeling rather disappoint without getting a room, we were enjoying ourselves ultimately. Becoz there's there guy who can sing really well! hm...he sounded like Gary cao (曹格)! his vocal range is v wide n can really hit very high note for a guy. We cld not resist ourselves from clapping. hahaz... we cld not help feeling presurrised to sing in front of him. lol..Our ears sort of 'benefited' from his singing but not our noses. I think our lives might b shortened for a few mths from all d second-hand smoke we breathed in! That group of guys including d gd singer smoked alot!!! We almost suffocated from those dense smoke. oh man... somemore, they are young, mayb ard our age. Shall 'wish' them all d best to their health... I hate cigarette! yucks! Ppl who smoke no only irresponsible to themselves but also to ppl ard them. Dunoe why, they jus can't think for others or even their love ones.

    Nevertheless, i still enjoyed my K-ing session w my gang as i had not been to K for quite a long period of time. =)

    Monday, February 19, 2007

    CNY 'chu yi'

    Happy Chi New Yr to my mama n papa! also not to forget to wish my wonderful frens reading my blog a happy n fruitful yr ahead! Stay healthy n b happy! =) Gong xi! Gong xi!
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    See how tradition we r...both my sis n i need to kneel down n wish my papa to get angbao...hahaz...i wonder how many ppl of my generation still practice this...
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    my sis's turn....
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    me n my papa! he's alr 50 k! n still look so young...i wish i will hav his gene...hahaz...
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    me n my mama at home! heez.. my mama also approaching 50 too..she looks younger than tt rite? kekez.. =)
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    (at my paternal's side)April, sis n amanda. they r 16, 15, 14 yrs old reapectively frm left to right. Hence, they click well together. n i m their 'da jie jie' who is older than d eldest cousin by 4 yrs. haiz...i feel so old...lolx...
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    A mentally sound me....wahahaz...
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    My cousin april play me out. she didn't act 'ding dong' as promise..so i became d only 1 who looked like a mad person! hahaz!
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    we r sisters! =)
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    They r sisters! =)
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    (at my maternal's side)
    Sometimes it's so fun to hav small kids ard to play w! esp when they r such a lovely bunch! *wide smile* They r basically d ones who help in thickening d cny mood. Coz they can produce so much noise to make d atmosphere more re nao! haaz..

    Sometimes it's so fun to hav small kids ard to play w! especially when they r so lovely! *wide smile* they r d ones who thickens d cny mood. coz they can produce lots of noise to make d atmosphere more re nan! hahaz...
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    The 3 muskerteers! (isit spelt correctly?) lol..
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    I love her so muchh tt i wan to kiss her! Muackz! hahaz...but i ended up looking so weird!
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    My 2 little princesses! heez...they r so cute rite?!! See their outfit? one in vietnamese costume n d other in korean outfit...Love them!
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    me n my biao jie! i didn't noe we r suppose to act retarted at 1st...lol.
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    Sunday, February 18, 2007

    Us! acting retarted...ahahaz...pufferfish?? hm...Dun let her goofiness fool u! she's actually a mei nu wor... *wink* btw, she also attached. kekez.
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    My sis n cousin acting cute? hahaz... =p
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    my 'biao ge' (d one in white n grey long sleeve) n 'ah yee'. Actually i wanted to take a pic of my cousin without him noticing, but somehow he knew i was up to sth. so he turned his face away frm my cam! argh~ if not u guys can c he looks like. ahahaz.. he has got most of d criteria of being a person one can depend on. Gd character, v smart, mild tempered n he i even c him peeling prawns for his gf k! But too bad,girls out there hav no chance liao, coz he's been attached. hahaz. n he's 21 this yr.
    My ah yee is even 'scarier'! she's gg aus this jun to obtain her PHD! She's my idol! heez.. =)

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    Wednesday, February 14, 2007

    Hope i'm jus in time to wish all my lovely frens out there a "HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!" MuackZ! =)

    Tuesday, February 06, 2007

    ..Unnamed.. in G minor (original composition)

    Nice composition by kyle! so i decide to share with u guys! enjoy... =)

    Sunday, February 04, 2007


    After my constant naggings,my sis finally surrender...n here goes d flowers!
    These orchids r so lovely n beautiful...aren't they? kekez... =)

    Saturday, February 03, 2007


    My family went to semb garden to buy some new plants for d coming CNY in d evening jus now. These were d pics taken using my sis hp coz i forgot to bring mine! if not d pic quality wld b much better. hahaz... =X
    I'm thinkin of posting up some pics of d flowers we took. They r so pretty k! Love them so much! But i hav to wait for my sis to upload! argh...nvm, i will pester her until she does it...hopefully it works...hahaz...

    Actually, my sis is quite vain ok! lol...

    i was trying to act idiotic while my sis was trying to act cute!! wahahaz...