About Me

  • Name: Denise Tan
  • DOB: 13th July 1987
  • NTU Sociology student


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    StaR in An auTuMn's niTe...

    sHimMeriNg of sTars in tHe niTe skY...bRinG my hAnd fOrwArD..tRyinG tO rEacH thEm...n wOndEriNg...wiLL i bE abLe to hOLd tHeM iN mY hAnD...?

    Friday, March 30, 2007

    This flower was taken at the roadside...they are small but they are pretty...
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    These 2 pink lilies are so lovely! I accidentally saw it outside this bunglow when i was on my way home from tution. I love flowers! =)
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    My student...Likes science alot but not maths...haiz..
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    Taken by bernie. I was trying out a sunglasses at Seiyu NTU! There was this seiyu fair located at Nangyang Audi. The money got from this sales would contribute to the financial assistance fund for the students. Now, i know i look like a housefly. LOL.
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    Wednesday, March 28, 2007

    Random Photos

    Taken at NTU Nanyang Audi. There were some advertising of travelling agencies. So now u know why we were dressed like that... =) Taken about 2 months ago...
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    Preparing for a presentation. I know i looked so serious that i seemed fierce. haha. (This was taken by 'xin xin jie'. Some1 who took our pics unknowing with such lousy skill!) Taken last week.
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    Birks and papillio (Taken yesterday)
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    Sunday, March 25, 2007

    A seed of thought

    It has been quite a tough time lately for me and my friends. We are all rushing and busying with school stuffs. Of course, each and everyone of us has our own personal problems which make us feel more frustrated and helpless. Sometimes i just feel like doing nothing. I want to daze. Just daze without having to think of all those problems that are weighing me down. They are so heavy that could make me drown...

    However, i'm glad to be able to see the pink evening sky, listen to the voices of my family and friends, taste my favourite dish, feel my tears on my face and smell the salty sea. All these make me feel so alive. I cherish to be alive and hope to be healthy and happy too. I may be greedy but i'm sure all human beings on earth would love that too. To be able to feel is a bless. To be optimistic in life is sure a bonus. Though optimistic seldom find it's way to me, i will try my best to seek for it. The seeking of optimism to the door of happiness...and i hope so...

    I pray for everyone around me to be happy and healthy. I love you all!

    Tuesday, March 20, 2007

    What is the purpose of memory?

    I did not want to mention what i had just read. If this is how you think, i respect you. There is no point for me trying to defend myself.

    Ok, i shall move on to what i came across today that caused me wanting to blog it down. Basically, there are 2 things and are closely related to one another. There is this girl friend (Gal*)of mine who is going through a tough time. School work and BGR stuffs. Both are pressing heavily on her. I am really worried about her and we definitely hope everything will be fine for her eventually.

    To *Gal* my friend: If you need a listening ear, feel free to tell us because there are so many pairs of ears here to help u carry your problems. You are never alone when your family and friends are around. We love you. Gal*, Jia you! =)

    Here comes the second issue. It was about a conversation Bernie (vanessa) and I had on the train during the journey home. We started off with voicing out our concern for Gal* then we Bernie mentioned something she wrote on her blog: 'memory is not about remembering, but about forgeting'. Well, for me. Memory is neither about forgeting nor remembering. It's true that we forget about things/event/people. But we need to know, we only forget things/events/people if they do not mean anything to you. They appear to b trivial or unimportant to you, hence this explain why they can be easily forgotten. In the other hand, Bernie asked me, "Can memories be erased? Especially the unpleasant ones?"and my respose to her question was what i am going to explain about - the 'remembering' part. Perhapes, i should post a question before i proceed on: "What makes you remember?"
    We remember things that caused great impacts on us. May it be pleasant or unpleasant, they are then stored in us as memories. Because they were things/events/people that triggered our emotions and captured our attention that made us realised we had been loved or hurt. Such things are difficult for us not to remember, especially things that caused us to get hurt. We feel anger, frustration, devastation, helplessness so on and so forth. All these can be extremely overwhelming and can be difficult to crawl out of them. So how is it possible to forget something that caused you so much pain and sufferings.

    I know those who don't agree may say 'time can heal all wounds'. Ya, it's true that wounds will heal. BUT it will turn into scar which is permanently unremovable, unless you go for laser surgery la. kk, i was joking. What i meant was...unless you lose your memory or suffering from selective memory. The scar will stay on as long as you live, quietly hidden at some small and unnoticeable corner of your memory and making you remember from time to time.

    Since scar don't hurt, it is usually left unnoticed. So you may think you have already forgotten about those unpleasant things. However, this is not true. Anything that triggers you to have a look at the scars again, will bring back memories. Then how can we possibly forget when the scars are there constantly reminding us about the 'history'. Fortunately, as time goes by, the intensity of the impact of the hurtful memory will fade off gradually.

    Here came another question from Bernie. ''What will be the effect/s of these bad memories have on us?" Again, as i always say...everything will has their boon and bane. The boon will be... every lesson learnt and experiences felt make us grow and gain wisdom, preventing us from committing the same mistakes or make us aware of the potential dangers that will lead us to the same disadvantage position. It serves us as a reminder.

    And the bane will be...once bitten, twice shy. After being defeated once, you may be afraid to take a step forward and move on when you tend to think to much and become paranoid...Trying
    to protect yourself against any harm.

    I guess these are all parts and parcels of life that everyone of us will go through every now and then.....so we just have to live with it and make the best out of it ba...

    Sunday, March 18, 2007

    In response to Teddy's 'bombshell'!

    About myself from A - Z

    A for apple: I love to eat apples and i used to eat one everyday during my JC days. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. No wonder i have been feeling sick more often recently, because i seldom eat apples now. Should recultivate this habit.

    B for bowling: The drain Queen! Blowing Ball always ended up rolling towards the drain.

    C for cancerian: I'm born in July 13, so naturally i'm a cancerian.

    D for deterioration: Memory deterioration to be exact. Think i'm getting older and my memory is failing on me. hahaz...

    E for Espson: The brand of my printer i'm using now. It's super lousy, slow and loud. Can't wait to save enough $$$ to purchase a canon 4-in-1 printer.

    F for failure: Afraid of failure and having the tendency to run away from it rather then facing it instead. A negative mindset that need to be altered.

    G for G-string: I had been sort of being "tramatized" by G-string. Reason is...i had encountered a stranger, a man, who worn a G-String!!! It was so gross and disgusting beyond any description. There was this man at the void deck which i saw when i was on my way to YJC (JC2). He was bending down trying to tie his shoe lace and that was when i saw a G-string appearing! It's not that i saw it in purpose, it's because the colour of it was so striking k! RED!!! No kidding man...the mentioning of it gives me nightmares! haha.

    H for home: No where is better than home. It's a place with shelter, warmth and support from my family which i can trust and depend on.

    I for ice-mountain: Ice-mountain was a nickname given to me by my secondary school classmates. Because my hands are usually very cold, just like ice.

    J for Jujubes: My all time favourite sweet pastille by Hudson's. It's a good remedy for throat irritation. Among the 3 flavours - original, herb and honey lemon, i like honey lemon best!

    K for Kuantan Malaysia: It's a place with beautiful seasides...love it.

    L for Lamer: Some people had claimed that i can be quite a lamer sometimes that i was able to freeze others. Haha...Seems like my lame-ing skill has improved throughout the years...muahaha!!!

    M for Musiclinc: I attend my vocal lesson there.

    N for NO smoking: Smokers please kindly stay away from me. I don't want to be a passive smoker and die of lung dieases. Thank you.

    O for OBS: Went to OBS (Outward Bound School) for class bonding in JC1. Though only a handful of people went, i still think it's a wonderful experience and memories that are worth keeping. =)

    P for punctuality: Punctual is my middle name. Whoever who knows me would know that i'm very particular in this aspect.

    Q for Qualitative & Quantitative Reseach: This is one of the Sociology core modules i'm studying now...

    R for running: I dreaded PE whenever i was supposed to run. Especially my 2.4 km run for NAFA test.

    S for singing: Actually there are many things that i can associate with 'S'. But i chose singing instead. Singing is my way of relieving stress and emotions. I love to sing, that is why i learn singing.

    T for tuitor: I'm currently a tuitor of 2 upper primary students. By tuitoring them Maths, i can easily puke 'chilli sauce'. LoL...

    U for untidy: My mama always nags at me about how untidy my room is for a girl! =x

    V for 'victory' sign: A pose i often used during photo taking. Say cheese...(",)v !

    W for writing: It's more of penning down my feeling is lyrical form rather than writing essays. Whenever i feel vexed or down, i will also write down my feelings and thoughts at that point of time.

    X for xenon: An inert gaseous element, present in the air in small amount. Sorry, can't really think of anything that associates with 'X', so i resort to look up the dictionary and xenon is the 1st word i saw. So... hahaz...

    Y for 'yuan fen' (缘分): Does it really exist? Should i believe in it...?

    Z for zither: We call it 'guzheng' in Chinese. It's an musical instrument i played during my secondary and JC Chinese Orchestra days.

    Happy Bday Mum!

    I just want to wish my mama a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY! May she's bless with lots of happiness and good health now and forever. =)
    She happy = I happy. No one could ever substitute her special place in my heart (hm..do i sound les to you? But i'm not ok! LOL). Because she is someone i respected the most and most importantly, I LOVE YOU, MAMA. MuacKz! *smile*

    Saturday, March 17, 2007

    Another 'not so good' week...

    Hasn't been blogging for a week. Because there isn't much to talk about. First, i have not recover from sick and is now suffering from post syndrome. Itchiness of the throat, coughing, nose block, running nose bla bla bla...whatever you can think of, you name it. I have a very 'low and sexy' voice now...which is super coarse. Don't think any of you would want to hear it. LoL...

    Apart from that, my Friday was extremely disappointing too...and only Bernie (Van) knows about it. haiz...Let's not talk about it.

    Qb, Ben and I went to watch '300' at The Grand Cathay. Quite a nice movie actually and is worth watching. Although this movie is rated M18, it is not gore at all. Or at least that is how i think. (i know my girl friends would not agree with me and they will call me a sadist for sure again.) This explained why i went to watch with Qb and Ben instead.By the way, Qb also shares the same opinion as me..because he laugh at a flying chopped off head in one of the scenes! Well...i was guilty for laughing too. =X It really couldn't be help because i think the expression of that 'flying head' was rather fake.haha.

    The next movie i'm going to patronise will be 'The Huanted School'. So i guess i will be watching that with Qb and Ben ba. Since Bernie already rejected my request, i assumed the rest my my girl friends will not be interested too.

    I must really thank Qb and Ben for accompanying me to scout for my mama's birthday gift before the movie. Guys, i appreciated your help. =)
    Guess what gift did i buy? I bought my mama a perfume! Nina Ricci - Love in Paris. What a romantic name for a perfume right? Haaz...Most importantly, it really nice smelling! I'm in love with perfumes...and i'm quite sure that my perfume collections will increase in the future. Right now, i have 3 of my very own perfumes.

    Sunday, March 11, 2007

    I don't know what to say....

    I really don't know how to describe myself except - super duper SUAY can!!! Want to know what interesting incident happened to me this morning?! I fell down! Face down! But luckily, i didn't fall flat on my face because i used my elbows and knees as support. Tell u guys...i think there is someone cursing me behind my back that is why i've been so unlucky these past few days. Haven't even fully recovered from sick, i had already fell while tripping over the tiles. haahaa....

    It was extremely EMBARASSING falling right in front of so many passer-by. It's like...wah! there were so many people witnessing you fell. lol...but there were a few kind souls who helped my retrived my bag and asked me how was I. A big thank you to them! Well, my injuries were not very serious. Just some skin being scraped off, they didn't bleed much but suffered from some bruises though. I must really thank god that i didn't wear skirt today. If not i really need to dig a deep hole in the ground to hide my embarrassment and shame. LOL........

    By the wat, my mum is going to complain to Town Council tomorrow. Because the tiles outside Civic Centre were already loosen since early Feb. And i heard from my mum that I am not the only victim. She had also witnessed a few people who almost fell but somehow still managed to stay upright (i guess only the clumpsy + 'fortunate' me fell down ba) haha... I really think it is very dangerous to leave it unrepair. What if elderly were to trip over because they cannot walk or see properly? Old people cannot fall down de loh! It's life threatening for them. Somemore their bone and body are so fragile. Think like me got so much fats to withstand the impact meh?! Haiyo...

    Saturday, March 10, 2007

    What a night..

    Guess what? I woke up 3 times during the night feeling feverish and i couldn't even swallow my own saliva. Whenever i tried swallowing, there's only extreme pain. I stand infront of the mirror and open my mouth wide, my throat is in an atrocious condition. It is inflammed and swollen...


    Friday, March 09, 2007

    bad day....

    Today was a bad day for me.

    First thing first. I was waken up by a stinging sensation in my throat. At that time, i was like...oh shit! I'm having a SORE throat. What a 'surprise' to begin a day with...

    Not only that, every friday is my favourite day of the week and I have longed for all Fridays but...things just didn't go right for today(Only Bernie knows about it). Poor Vanessa aka bernie was not feeling much better than me. She overslept, rushed out of home without having breakfast and she felt faint on the way to meet me. Very suay right? That's not all. She also had tummy ache too...So she rushed home straight to rest and i went to give tuition.

    I thought having sore throat was the worst i could get but apparently this is not so. I hit the bus ceiling while i was getting ready to alight. Don't know whether is it because of that, I get a headache or is it due to the weather.

    Right now, my whole body is aching and a potential fever is nearing....

    Wednesday, March 07, 2007

    Dinner treat by Da Yee!

    ok, i admit i'm vain. hahaz..This pic was taken while waiting for my parents to get home before going to Bottle Tree Restaurant for dinner (3rd Mar 07). My aunt's (Da yee) treat! So good right? kekez..
    i was feeling so bored from waiting that i started taking pics. =x whoever who see my pics, pls dun puke k? Because i dun hav so many buckets to provide...haa..lame..
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    My little cousin with her mum (my li kim). This cousin of mine is my clone because she looks like how i looked like when i was young (at her age). lol...Many of my relatives even my ma said that too.
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    A fishing pond cater for fishing lovers! They had prawns in there too!
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    Kids were playing happily at the pond. It's a great place to spend with your wife and kids during weekends.
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    Those fishes were huge! they look even bigger in reality!
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    (Left to Right) Sis, me, cousin (ah li) and Darren - her husband to be.
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    My sis & I were like 2 lamp posts w my cousin (ah jie) standing between us!
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    Sis n cousin

    (Left to right) My sis & cousin!
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    Me & my cousin. It's us again! The cheeky girls! ahaha...
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    Cousin n sis

    (Left to right) my cousin & sis.
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    Family n relatives

    2 tables fully occupied! lol...
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    Lo hei!

    I like the crackers! it's so crispy!
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    The Food..

    Are you feeling tempted? hahaz.
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    Swt n sour crab

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    Friday, March 02, 2007

    Away from Home...

    Went to give tuition today and i had a little conversation with my students' maid, and my students were just beside us. There was how it went...

    1st part:

    Me: wah...it's so dark outside, seems like it is going to rain again.

    Maid: ya ya! keep raining. My husband sms me say indonesia, my village got many water until here, here! (she put one of her hands at her hip to indicate the water level.) My house, chairs tables wet, everything.

    Student (mei mei*): wow! so fun! i also want to go indonesia! Can play with water.

    Maid: what! not fun!

    Mei mei*: why??!!

    Maid: No no...very dangerous! Later scare my children... (she used her hand again to show us a sweeping off action. I supposed she trying to tell us how ppl were swept away by current and drown. But Mei mei* was looking confused.)

    Me: oh my! Mei mei* u really don't know the seriousness! During floods, people can just accidentally trip and fall, get wash away and then drown. Meaning, never to get to see their family again. (By now Mei mei* was quite ashame of what she had just mentioned.)

    1st part of conversation ended.

    I turned to look at the maid. All i saw is nothing else but a worried face. After that she walked off to pick up my students' shoes for washing.

    I really feel sorry for her and my heart goes out to her. She's alone, working in this foreign country and leaving behind her family to earn better money in order to support her own kids to school. Now, she is here worrying about the safety of her children back at home while taking care of other people's children. Isn't that an irony? I think her heart ache each time when she's looking after my students. Cook for them, wash their clothes for them and also making sure they are well taken care of. But she, as a mother, can't do all these for her very own children. To her, this must be really heart aching.

    2nd part:

    As i was tuitoring Mei mei*, Kor kor* came running to me...

    Kor kor*: Denise! Denise! My maid told me that the people in her village are digging many holes!

    Me: Huh?? Many holes? ( Feeling puzzled.)

    Me: oh...u mean people are digging the soil to drain out excess rain water, like a simple man made drainage system?

    Kor kor*: yah yah!

    Kor kor*: (very agitated) Why their govenment never do anything to help the victims and build better drainage system!!??

    Me: (stunned!)
    I was actually quite surprised about this pri 6 student of mine. Didn't expect him to link this to government. I must say that his way of thinking is mature than a 12 yr old, BUT his behaviour is quite the opposite. =X hahaz.... I'm really worried for his PSLE this year too...*geh sim*

    Me: yalor, some governments are too corrupted to care about their people's welfare and living conditions...

    End of conversation.

    On my way back, it still raining. I sheltered myself with an umbrella and walking in the rain. The surrounding was quiet except the splattering sound of the rain, so it's kinda of romantic. ahahaz...Well, that's that.
    Back to topic. As I was walking down the road, my thoughts were back to the conversations i had earlier on. We are so fortunate than so many people living on earth. We are blessed with no natural disaster and government that at least takes care of our basic needs. That is why we have the chance to carry umbrellas and the privilege to take a look at our beautiful surroundings. But people who are trapped in flood areas are fighting for their lives against the raging current. We really need to be content with our lives instead of complaining....

    PS: Both my students' names had been changed to mei mei* and Kor kor*. Mei mei* age 11 (pri 5) and Kor kor* age 12 (pri 6).