About Me

  • Name: Denise Tan
  • DOB: 13th July 1987
  • NTU Sociology student

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    Id Love You To Want Me - Lobo
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    StaR in An auTuMn's niTe...

    sHimMeriNg of sTars in tHe niTe skY...bRinG my hAnd fOrwArD..tRyinG tO rEacH thEm...n wOndEriNg...wiLL i bE abLe to hOLd tHeM iN mY hAnD...?

    Tuesday, March 20, 2007

    What is the purpose of memory?

    I did not want to mention what i had just read. If this is how you think, i respect you. There is no point for me trying to defend myself.
    ____________________________________________________________________


    Ok, i shall move on to what i came across today that caused me wanting to blog it down. Basically, there are 2 things and are closely related to one another. There is this girl friend (Gal*)of mine who is going through a tough time. School work and BGR stuffs. Both are pressing heavily on her. I am really worried about her and we definitely hope everything will be fine for her eventually.

    To *Gal* my friend: If you need a listening ear, feel free to tell us because there are so many pairs of ears here to help u carry your problems. You are never alone when your family and friends are around. We love you. Gal*, Jia you! =)

    Here comes the second issue. It was about a conversation Bernie (vanessa) and I had on the train during the journey home. We started off with voicing out our concern for Gal* then we Bernie mentioned something she wrote on her blog: 'memory is not about remembering, but about forgeting'. Well, for me. Memory is neither about forgeting nor remembering. It's true that we forget about things/event/people. But we need to know, we only forget things/events/people if they do not mean anything to you. They appear to b trivial or unimportant to you, hence this explain why they can be easily forgotten. In the other hand, Bernie asked me, "Can memories be erased? Especially the unpleasant ones?"and my respose to her question was what i am going to explain about - the 'remembering' part. Perhapes, i should post a question before i proceed on: "What makes you remember?"
    We remember things that caused great impacts on us. May it be pleasant or unpleasant, they are then stored in us as memories. Because they were things/events/people that triggered our emotions and captured our attention that made us realised we had been loved or hurt. Such things are difficult for us not to remember, especially things that caused us to get hurt. We feel anger, frustration, devastation, helplessness so on and so forth. All these can be extremely overwhelming and can be difficult to crawl out of them. So how is it possible to forget something that caused you so much pain and sufferings.

    I know those who don't agree may say 'time can heal all wounds'. Ya, it's true that wounds will heal. BUT it will turn into scar which is permanently unremovable, unless you go for laser surgery la. kk, i was joking. What i meant was...unless you lose your memory or suffering from selective memory. The scar will stay on as long as you live, quietly hidden at some small and unnoticeable corner of your memory and making you remember from time to time.

    Since scar don't hurt, it is usually left unnoticed. So you may think you have already forgotten about those unpleasant things. However, this is not true. Anything that triggers you to have a look at the scars again, will bring back memories. Then how can we possibly forget when the scars are there constantly reminding us about the 'history'. Fortunately, as time goes by, the intensity of the impact of the hurtful memory will fade off gradually.

    Here came another question from Bernie. ''What will be the effect/s of these bad memories have on us?" Again, as i always say...everything will has their boon and bane. The boon will be... every lesson learnt and experiences felt make us grow and gain wisdom, preventing us from committing the same mistakes or make us aware of the potential dangers that will lead us to the same disadvantage position. It serves us as a reminder.

    And the bane will be...once bitten, twice shy. After being defeated once, you may be afraid to take a step forward and move on when you tend to think to much and become paranoid...Trying
    to protect yourself against any harm.

    I guess these are all parts and parcels of life that everyone of us will go through every now and then.....so we just have to live with it and make the best out of it ba...

    2 Comments:

    • At 8:18 PM , Anonymous teddY said...

      This is a really insightful post denise! I agree with you that although time may heal the wound a scar is ultimately left behind. And as we face the same problems again we will be picking that old scab again causing a wound to appear...

      Anyway I think memories are given to us to cherish the things we have in life. Imagine having the joy of... let's say a baby brother and forgetting it the next second? The excitement of getting married and forgetting it the next second? Our lives are based on our past, our memories. Without memories, we're nothing.

      Have a great weekend!

       
    • At 8:30 PM , Blogger denise said...

      Thanks Teddy! =)

      Yap, no matter how bad or gd our memories are, they r there for us to keep. If man lack of any memories, he's no different frm a zombie. No history from the past, we will only be stagnant without able to move on in life. Without memories to look back, life will be so empty, mayb to d extent of feeling lost. A sense of anomie or alienation.

      Enjoy ur wkend too! =)

       

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