About Me

  • Name: Denise Tan
  • DOB: 13th July 1987
  • NTU Sociology student


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    Id Love You To Want Me - Lobo
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    StaR in An auTuMn's niTe...

    sHimMeriNg of sTars in tHe niTe skY...bRinG my hAnd fOrwArD..tRyinG tO rEacH thEm...n wOndEriNg...wiLL i bE abLe to hOLd tHeM iN mY hAnD...?

    Tuesday, June 19, 2007

    A response piece to 问世间情为何物?

    Anything that concerns about feelings and emotions are never easy to deal with. Relationships (including kinship and friendship) are all about emotion attachment and feelings, hence they are really complex to begin with.People want to sustain a relationship can be accounted for many different reasons. (in this case i focus on BGR) Such as companionship, sexual desire, financial or/and love etc. It is up to a person to seek for what he/she really wants in a relationship. Of course, mutual agreement and goals play a crucial role in a relationship. Because constant friction in peceptions can cause great distress. Personally, i feel that a healthy relationship is when both parties feel comfortable/happy with each other's company and both are able to grow and mature together towards a common future.

    There is this phrase that goes - "when you truely love someone, it is not about loving someone you can live with, it is all about loving someone you cannot live without." I supposed you came across this saying before.Like you say, maybe it is because we are too used to the presence and have already put in so much time and effort, one could find it easy to live with each other. But one should also ask oneself, 'can we simply live without the other?' If yes, then love is already not present. If the answer is a no, then congratulation to you. Because that someone really means the whole world to you, making you want to protect him/her from all harms and unhappiness.

    Unhappiness can be either internal, external or both. Anything that comes within a relationship is more critical as it can destroy a relationship even there is love present. And gradually, this love may become hatre eventually. However, if it is due to external factor then things are less complicated. Provided the relationship foundation is strong enough to withstand and overcome any 'external invasions'. As for the question on 'Is it really possible for you to love somebody, and you are not happy when you are with them?'My response will be if you love someone you will be happy with that someone around. But one thing to take note of, is the perception of love of the 2 parties. If both ideas of love are different, it is difficult to strike a balance. Then this is when love can make people unhappy.

    This brings us to the definition of love.There is no fix definition of love, at least this is what i think so. The idea of love is very subjective. What is love depends on how we want it to be. Love can be posession, violent and jealousy or appreciation, respect and care. Ultimately, it is all about the matter of choice, about what are you seeking in love and who you want to give your love to.


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